Totally inspired by my recent experiences, I sat down to write a little about my knowledge of manifesting. How does it work? What do you need to do? Do you always get what you want? How much of what happens or doesn’t happen do we control? What is the art of letting go?
As we were counting the days till the end of this incredible cruise we’ve been on. Just short of a month ago, we’ve embarked on a journey from Sydney to New Zealand on a huge cruise ship. I mean HUGE!! 14 story high with over 3000 passengers, and I still can’t even begin to grasp, how does a vessel like these stays above water? Or how it felt so easy and gentle for most of it?
While this journey feels like a complete luxury, certainly not something I see myself doing again in the near future, it gave me a close view on a different way to travel and holiday. First of all, it’s the first time I went on holidays with a group of girls. Soon we discovered that we holiday well together, which was a great addition to the one thing that brought us together on this trip: the teachings of Abraham Hicks. A lady named Esther Hicks that channel and teaches about the law of attraction and the life of deliberate creations. She runs her workshop on the cruise (for part of it) the other part was some exploring of little towns of New Zealand, the three sounds, some hot springs at Lake Rotoiti, lots and lots of resting and beautiful sightseeing of the untouched and magnificent landscape of this country.
Needless to say, that we had some interesting conversations, some deep dives into understanding each other and understanding ourselves more in the process. Lots of good laughs, a few tears, dance, great food, meeting new people and many observations, new learnings and growth. I even met a lady from Israel, that’s right, she travels all the way to Australia to have a close encounter with this wonderful teacher of the law of attraction and the power of deliberate creation. I must say, spending a few hours by her side made me feel more grounded, it took us to conversations that were rooted in our culture and therefore gave my experience on this trip another perspective, something a little more familiar in a way. Strangely we spoke English for most of the time, except for those moments that it got too fast or simply needed a quick translation to Hebrew. She is a mother of three girls, and allowed herself to embark on an adventure like that all on her own. Truly inspiring.
So how does manifestation work… well it simply begins with a feeling. When you and your inner being connects deeply and purely to a feeling you send out vibrations of that desire into the world and as long as you stay out of the way it will appear before you and be a lived experience or “thing” that you have desired. So no, it is not good enough to say what you want to be or have, you must feel it first in your heart and in your bones. You also need to practice and improve your connection with your inner being on a regular basis, and yes this is a doing practice also known as meditation. Getting familiar with one self.
Sometimes we can get into a meditation with an intention to have or feel something, but unless we let go of the desire to have it in a specific way or with certain conditions, we may interrupt the process. This is what I mean by getting out of the way, because with that we introduce resistance into the formula and resistance causes delays, pain, friction spending more time where we don’t want to be. That’s when the art of letting go comes in.
I know what you’re thinking, how can you ask for what you want and let go of what you don’t want at the same time. You can easily find yourself in a mental argument as you are trying to get clearer on what you want, and doing that involves knowing what you don’t want. The easiest way to get out of your way (starting with your over thinking mind) is changing your focus completely. Once you have a clear sense of what you want, and that normally associates with feeling good, feeling at ease, feeling joyful. You can hold it it your mind and heart’s desire for a short while and soon there will be the opposite thinking the doubts the negative thoughts. It is natural, there is always negotiation going on when it’s a new desire. But the moment you had a good connection to what you really want stay with it as long as you can. If negative thoughts persist or you become stuck in your mind, simply change your focus. Do something totally unrelated, listen to music and dance around, go for a walk, go for a nap. Before you know it you have let go of what was in your way of creation.
I know I’ve been standing in the way of my desire to have a baby for a very long time, and I have let it control my life. Earlier this year, I’ve become a deliberate creator as for the first time I dropped all my guards of how I think it should be and fully trust the process no matter the outcome. All I focused upon was having a good time as much as I can. Every time logic was jumping into that conversation, I brushed it off and went for a walk, meditation, nap, dance. Little moments of choosing the path of least resistance have led me to where I am today with my desire. It required letting go of what others think, letting go of the why, letting go of whose fault it is, finding softness, finding forgiveness and most of all finding gratitude in all that is.
Thinking about what you do want and simultaneously thinking about what you don’t want creates tension creates resistance. Getting a feeling of what you want is the key to manifestation. Is getting out of your head and into your heart, letting go of anything that might make sense to you in your head and holding on to what feels wonderful in your heart is the key to bring about what you want to have, be or do in your life. This year has demonstrated all of that to me. I can promise you if a few years ago you would have told me of what will unfold for me this year, I would laugh out loud. I now know the small shift that was made earlier in the year and then another and then another, that allowed things to happen the way they do. That is all you must seek. A small shift from where you are right now and then, from that new position seek out your next small shift after that.
One of the biggest hurtle when one is stuck in a situation or feeling overwhelmed is to find that little crack of light that will guide you out of the hole, you’re in. But it is simple when you ask for help and get a new perspective from a friend or a coach or a counsellor, it will simply help you to break things down and figure out what is your next best step away from your problem and into a solution. Manifesting what you want can be really hard when you are sitting in a hard place, because that is your only focus and that is all you are going to continue to get.
When we started our family making journey and came across this infertility challenge, all I could see is problems. I felt broken and blame myself, my body and my past for this punishment. I felt resentful, shameful, incapable which meant that I was focusing on my problems and not on the possibilities. I had times that I blamed Bill for not succeeding to conceive, I blamed the doctors, I blamed my work for taking my focus out of it, thinking there can only be one or the other. So now I can completely see how I was sitting in a negative energy and vibration therefore attracting exactly that… negative results. My mind kept asking for a baby as did my heart, but the other part of my mind presented fears and doubts for what is possible.
It was when I finally exhausted all my reasons for why I cannot fall pregnant that I surrendered to it all, and almost had a careless attitude about it, I was focusing back on our relationship, on our holidays, on the fun we used to have and that we can still have. I stopped worrying about money and when will it come from, I just stayed in gratitude for the smallest things in my life every day, I remembered what it feels like to love again. Love me again. Love us again. And slowly shifted away from the focus on the problems we had falling pregnant to focusing on the joy and love we have in our relationship and in our daily lives.
Now I am half way through my pregnancy and feeling utterly joyful beyond belief. I have enriched my life with a trip to Greece and Israel earlier in the year, then a cruise and a seminar that was totally transformative, as well as a night with Esther Perel which answered and release another dull and stagnant bit in our relationship encouraging me to bring back the fun in the bedroom and the appreciation to the longevity in our marriage. Which by the way seems like we are just entering our third marriage together, but that is a topic for another post.
In conclusion, manifesting starts in your heart and a true feeling that you create. That feeling needs to align with the actions you take, the words you use and the connection you maintain with your inner being. When resistance presents itself find distractions to get you away from focusing on what you don’t want and make sure you are having fun. You will always get what you want, whether you think about it or not, the time that you will get what you want depends on you staying out of your own way of getting it.
Wherever you are right now, find a way to appreciate the little things around you even if you simply start with your breath. Know that there is a living and energized being inside you that knows your true desires and that is ready to show you the way to get them. Connect to it daily through meditation or journaling and watch your bright future unfolds before you as you create it with your mind, your heart and your actions.